It’s Official: Jerry Falwell Is Not A Sodomite
Supporters of the good Rev have finally assembled all the evidence to disprove the myths circulating on ‘the internets’ that Jerry Falwell is gay, and put them in a conveinient website. Here are some examples of this useful data:
MYTH: The Reverend Jerry Falwell is partial to stupendously endowed negro men, and has traveled to Thailand on four occasions to undergo reconstructive surgery on his sodomy-ravaged colon.
FACT: This vile, wholly fabricated lie first appeared in a 1993 posting to the Usenet newsgroup “alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.televangelists.fisting.” Fortunately, it would seem that Rev. Falwell’s ever-vigilant legal department has succeeded in squelching all record of that posting, as well as the scores of copycat stories at such websites as “www.geocities.com/jerrys-boy-toy”, “impaled-on-jerry.blogspot.com” and “m4m.blackplanet.com/~falwell_brownsugar.”
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MYTH: In May of 1995, a gay male Liberty University undergraduate had unprotected anal intercourse with Reverend Falwell in the catacombs of the DeMoss Learning Center in exchange for a passing grade in Theology 412: Principles of Youth Ministry. Soon thereafter, when the 20 year-old threatened to reveal the encounter to Diane Sawyer of NBC News, he mysteriously disappeared.
FACT: Liberty University does not grant admission to homosexuals – especially not to ones who are later allowed to share dormitory rooms because their parents are major donors. Nor does the school turn a blind eye to annual shower orgy initiations to the girls softball team. Indeed, covert video surveillance of all campus changing rooms, showers and bathrooms was initiated by Reverend Falwell many years ago to keep tabs on those lost sparrows of the Lord most in need of gentle, loving correction.
